Dont be so sure he means well. Please do everything you can to go no contact. aliens. I am very catholic, however I noticed many things about him that were alarming. I bought things for him, spent all my time with him, and allowed my life to revolve around him. We are not making this up. She kept telling me that SHE is part of the family, i.e. We divorced. The man is a Narcissist and a sex addict. I have just read this post as I was feeling quiet vulnerable today considering it being Easter and being with family, I thought my ex may turn up with a gift for my son. This article confirms everything I believe. I care for you baby I love you baby. Fug you I hate you why did you HURT me?. He gave the whole story of him being separated and his wife no longer wanted anything to do with him. But I chopped it up to he was just nervous. Eight years not an interest at all in dating or meeting another man I was already strong independent and in control and anice person Than. I became resentful and tried talking to him that the relationship is in trouble. How does a person deal with all this crap when you cant run from the situation? Explains why narcissists behave the way they do - viewing others as prey to treat like dirt or tear down in order to prop up their delusions of superiority. I cut him off for a couple of months but then got weak when he sent me a pic of a key chain I had bought him. Don't. We often fail because of attaining what we want in our life the peace and love. Instead, they will search to find a narrative that suits their personal success story. A narcissist will certainly say they regret losing you. This I know because anytime I think back to just before she entered my life or I read over the beginning of what Ive documented over the years, I truly struggle with believing I was that fairly warm hearted, trusting, compassionate guy who shared a fair amount of his time and energy with the community. Well after I attempted to expose him, he became quite abusive verbally. I put, together a vision board with pictures of us when we were happy and also, cards and letters he had written. Whether this is done with love bombing, insults, or pleas for a second chance. No Contact now for a month. Check out her Narc Abuse Recovery Program. good luck to all. I have forgotten how many times she left me and the pattern was becoming familiar. Many of them, in their desperate attempts to convince others of their superiority, are highly motivated to achieve much more than most people; this will give them something to really brag about. Even if he is in the relationship for power or control, he still feels immense pain and sadness. Imagine having to fight for your child when he has convinced her that Im the problem. thats the trap. Paul, I can really see where the problem here lies. I was already over it. This is just like a hook back into their evil so-called heartsand I for one, am not biting. He purchased a 4000 square foot condo in the ritzy part of town. And it is hard, but so necessary as I saw him gettun g worse and worse. Ju texted me till 3 in the morning and as soon as I saw her message, I apologized and went to bed. After years I found out I was one of 20-50 girls that the N is spinning around. But for you, as a child of god you just need to rely on him to help you through. Hes currently using the Gas-lighting technique, trying to ruin my reputation. Then comes back. I feel sick by all of these things I have discovered about him. My brother was discarded in a terrible way by his gf. They simply were unable to develop the kind of positive, stable attachment bond to their caretakers that could make them feel loved and accepted. He is a real and legit and all his techniques actually works just the way they ought to work. He is a bit put off by women. time line everything. Finally his sister set me straight on him and that he can never be trusted He is 62. I have been able to sort through a lot of truth and I take responsibility for my part in this and I am working to be a better me. Video him verbally assaulting you. I hope this helps. | Punching me bitting me Grabs my phone throw it and take some keys so I run after him he tells me leave him alone. im finding all these posts so hard to read as currently going through similar in my 3 year relationship he has smashed up my car and house wanted a baby forced me to move into his house from my own when pregnant or would dump me. Jack C brings up 2 great points I noticed with my ex. ), he beat me severely and that was the last straw. Ive stuck rigidly to NC. In all cases though, the narcissist needs supply and they need to repair their ego (even if its at your expense). She knew everything about me and at first, literally flowered me.. made me feel so special and wanted. Thanks for the great insight, Its been three painful years breaking up from an extremely abusive relationship. You are bright and very logical as well as caring . Then he had the nerve to excuse himself to make a phone call, comes back 15 minutes later and when I asked if it were her he called he said yes, she had called him and he was returning the call on Valentines Day! Also I think that in his mind, not contacting me proves that he is better than my other exes, who had to be silenced. He was engaged when we met & I had no idea. HE could never possibly be YOU though, because YOU were never real, and what is REAL that is so FAKE, is something I would not wish upon anyone. The basics: He is a trucker, I worked in a truck stop restaurant; he saw me, wanted to talk to me so he passed that on to my co-worker who used to date his brother. I really dont know anyone thats happy with kids. Another week passed; he came back and his girlfriend followed, knocked on my door and I proceeded to find out that he had been involved with this woman for 17 years and that he had been living with her since before I put him out. At least not in an empathetic, normal, human type of way. I never felt anything like that before. And I start getting angry emails texts about where Im at. ? And then, out of the Ns mouth, You never liked me! No, I liked the fake pretend imaginary person you made up that was almost believable until.and by the way, whoever you are, Mr. Hyde, you dont like you so how the hell do you see it possible for me too? By K Petro/Shutterstock. You can only imagine what life was like with someone, with behavior like that! Contact was done through my son, as he could decide when he wanted to see me etc. The last night he stayed out, he was gone two days but not before accusing me of cheating because I wasnt home when he came in after dark. But my friends couldnt believe the stuff he did. This is the well-known narcissistic injury, which has provided the focal point for many writers seeking to characterize the phenomenon of pathological narcissism. By saying this, they try to tear you down to make themselves feel better. Well, received an e-mail telling me he now has a girlfriend. I am pretty sure when some girl dumps his selfish butt hell unblock everything and come back. Do recognize Ns exist in both genders. Praying for you Tina! I fell into the oh Im a cool girl, I dont care, whatever trap. In just 3 days, my husband came back to me. Your friends/family members testimony can help. I pray for your strength. Break up with the narcissist, but be prepared for consequences in the short term. She was also very intelligent being a 30 year manager in a communications bussiness ! Enough! I told him that I wasnt interested in falling in love, just wanted to date. Thats my one way ticket out of the spin . Its almost a year since Ive had those rings and we have never discussed the wedding. I know you can do it! Im praying for u. Melanie Your story is my life. To all of you women who have been the official girl friend/wife and who maybe discovers an affair or two: BEWARE! After easter, my son hurts himself and I rushed him to hospital. Emotional abuse, lies, manipulation, and favoritism, are prevalent during visitation. For 4 yrs I thought it was me. Its evident a massive amount of serious harm has been done because of being subjected to years of her battering, compulsive lying, psychotic behaviour and malicious conduct. Sometimes you may find advice from people in the strangest of places. Be very very careful!! So finally given my religious views, (yes I know sex before marriage is a HUGE sin) I decided that I would keep the baby and not terminate. Two days later he bought me a wedding/engagement ring set. A hand to write and technology to block contacts after what youve said or wrote but talk to yourself , take months to be alone , cry and come upto a decision. Her self esteem is lacking and she has depression and has had suicidal ideations more than once.. He was not unfaithful, and I do believe its because he wont be with just anyone. Im trying to decide if this guy I was seeing is a narcissist or just very selfish? He uses everything against me, makes threats, twists stories around to make himself look good, in the process of baiting in his next Victim. If anything, you will feel better about yourself and you can show how you are a viable person in your community and a good example for your son while lets deem your babys father, HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED probably wont. Only had 3 arguments in the short 3mths but wow huge!!! Right there I cut him off. I thought to share with her so we can work on it together. Know that it won't last - they just don't like the feeling of being dumped. Want to know more? It might seem selfish of me to some of you but others who understand what i was in, can tell that just letting her do would be foolish because never again will i find someone like her. Sad but true. (7) the need for financial assistance. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Mine is a good looking one and the sex is simply the best. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. courts made it hard so I used the co parent tactic genuinely I wanted to co-parenting he wanted this family and relationship even though he discarded me and did all the above. I am am REVENGE I want you do you want me to send you pics of me? And all the cazynes seemed to slowly and is surly fadingREASONS no contact. And he was single. As in, right at this moment this is me and what I AM going through RIGHT NOW! Breaking up is never easy. I think you already know all of this, you are just afraid and hurt. I know you are a student who is juggling a lot, but your spare time (maybe even once a week) to help you return to who you used to be, join new activities you would never think of joining like a sport or a cooking or legal class. Such an inflamed reaction constitutes a frenetic, last-ditch effort to protect their gravely threatened vulnerability. I cut him to the core right through his false self and directly into his true self. He is full of false promises & laziness. To a woman. I wished i knew where we went wrong and got bad. I have dealt with deaths easier than this mental/ emotional manslaughter. Narcissists may respond either particularly well or particularly poorly to breakups. He comes back again. Many of the people whom a narcissist exploits end up deserting them. And Im sorry about your experience. One of the break up games played by a narcissist is when they bring a third person into the situation to hurt their partner even more. What Makes a Narcissist Tick After a Breakup? If there are kids involved on communicate when absolutely needed. I couldnt help but send him my last message. You'll be left wondering what went wrong. Today Im so happy and i want to recommend this great spell caster to anyone that truly needs an urgent solution to his or her broken relationships and marriage. Narcissists have an implicitbelief that in order to be okay, they need to beperfect and constantly get others toenviouslylook up to them. He encourged me to quit my job and travel with him and I did (believe it or not). The relationship consisted of me basically being his puppet. I know one things for sure! A relationship with a narcissist can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem. Video him abusing you. She said I cant see you be destroyed like this. I told her I thought she was a narcissist after all of the behavior and reading it up online and talking to friends that are psych majors. Unfortunately for him, I threw him out of my apartment, changed my phone number, and moved back to where I lived before I met him. Lacked understand & empathy towards others even in their own family. My N were together 8 years. I have been away from him for 8 months and going strong ! They want you to pay for their early childhood trauma. Theyve made my life a nightmare down through the years.Ive tried to move out on my own but theyve thwarted my attempts. I could get the materials myself and mail it to him via ups or come down to his holy ground or send down the cost of the materials to him which is less expensive that all other options. Its a given that narcissists like to come back to their old relationships, so you want to know how long you need to wait to feel in the clear. Hey I have to go to Spain. Triangulation. The devil will trick us and trick us to get us to become little evil minions, but dont do it. The principles of, The Secret always resonated with me but I never truly applied it to my, life.I started keeping a journal and daily I would write things like I am so happy and grateful now that we are in love again. I found out about another woman and didnt move in with him. This was after he told me he was taking me to terminate, and he instead took me to a prolife clinic in which showed me slide shows and pictures and terrible images of aborted fetus. For the past two years, I moved to a new place and lived on my own with my son. Over time, the lies become so constant and even elaborate, that they often end up believing their own lies. First and foremost, since youre a Catholic, gather up strength and start praying to god to see this through for both you and your son. She realized that it was her dad. My plan now is to leave and cut all communication. Having learned earlier not to trust anyonethe outcome of the emotional pain inflicted on them by insufficiently caring, non-approving parentsthey refuse to accept the risks associated with allowing another to get really close to them. He was sweet & gentle and I wanted to know more about this tall drink of water. She told me of a man called Dr Goko she told me he is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing concerning love issues he cannot solve and she told me how he has help countless number of people in restoring their relationship. I hope this helps. I thought to myself can someone be this outright disordered in his thinking or was it done deliberately as punishment since I cut him off for 7 months? The grave misfortune in their decision to safeguard their (actually false) self should by now be obvious; by refusing (or being unable) to open up their heart to others, they prevent themselves from ever getting whatdeep down and totally out of their awarenessthey most desire and desperately need. My narc has just left me two weeks ago , well I initiated the break up because I had no choice , I have been going out of my mind with pain and suffering while he goes on his merry way , no explanations no empathy no guilt just silence . He didnt even show any care when i told him the facts and that why im breaking up. Our son tried for a few months to be supportive during her pregnancy but the drama, constant threats and degrading behavior was too stressful to attempt any relationship with her. Narcissistic rivalry, on the other hand, is the tendency to put others down. How it proceeds is based on the narcissists needs and how willing you are to fulfill those needs. Share your insights and everyday examples of narcissistic behavior. Telling at me spitting in my face bitting me punching me. Great! Given how their defense systems drive their personality, even in such crises, theyre unable to sustain any (purely pragmatic) shift in behavior. She sounds like a compassionate woman with a bit of vulnerability. I know too well due to my reaction however I used tools to SHOW changes and accountability bcuz la had evidence but after that I was very careful around him but I recorded him used text based evidence by the time he figured it out it was too late I still felt bad but thats bcuz we have empthay Im slowly going to pull his contact away. Promise you! ow and of course she kept saying she loved me. To just recent. He doubted his whole existense due to the accusations by his ex. I lost many friends. The word Pornography is not a curse word last I checked. I made it a few weeks but ended up taking him back, nothing changed. Well, she is trouble and manipulative etc BUT so is HE. I am not in contact with my son, as he is still manipulating him, but im hoping that he will come around in his own time, I am NOT saying this is easy. I went through 4 years here and was very badly scarred emotionally when I forced myself to get out so I stayed away from men for about 5 years after that. So glad I did, things went quiet from him over the weekend. stockfour / Shutterstock. He asked- what did the doctor say? As I began to tell him that she said that I needed to relax, he drove my car into the bumper of the car in front of us. Breaking up with a narcissist is likely to be a draining experience. Dr Mack is the best caster Ive seen thus far, whoever need help to get his or her lover in a perfect way should try to contact Dr_Mack@yahoo. Strangely enough I still feel some love and fondness for her, despite her behaviour. Im thinking, the only way to get away & out of this torment for good, is to move out of town. its is a long and difficult path. Its been a very hard realization to ACCEPT that my fairy tale is over but in hind sight, it was over a long time ago; I just refused to believe it. Like all and everything I read happened.. All of it . I have just gotten out of a 3 1/2 year what I cant decide was either a Narc or Psycho relationship; he dumped me. I only have one way of communicating with her, and thats through email now. He had planned on playing the victim role, as usualbut that didnt work out for him that time. . My current ex as of today just broke up with me. I knew I was probably in for an emotional hit. I became a huge blowout among family members and him because they finally realized that he had been lying to them the whole time and had been telling them all different lies and versions of it. In a study published in Personality and Individual Differences, my student, Brooke Schlott, and I explored these questions. We cant make sense of it because we dont think/feel like they do. As a result, disarming them is not a simple undertaking because they don't react the way most of us do. By allowing that we have no discriminations as we dont take enough time whether to trust them or ourselves in terms of compatibility . I had difficulty getting the courts to understand the behavior exhibited from these traits and how that behavior impacts my children. I cannot invite that kind of destructive crazy into my life. Then I get a frantic call. 363 Followers. When you express to someone you are very unhappy, tired of the abuse..and no longer have any love for themand want to split-up and all they can do is tell you you are gonna do what I say, what i tell you to do, you arent going anywhere, because i said so!After 12 years of pure hell with that man, no..I no longer loved him at all by the time I left him..I hated everything about him, I let him know this to!